There has been a massive amount of buzz since Dead Man Espresso opened on Market St in South Melbourne. There is a lot to love about this cafe, especially the staff and the coffee. But I’m in 2 minds about the menu. There are 2 menus, a reasonably limited brunch menu, served till 12 each weekday and all day on weekends and a lunch menu, served from 12 till 3 each week day. There is a bit of overlap between the 2, but the lunch menu is definitely a bit more diverse. Sadly, I only just realised it existed as it’s normally a weekend haunt. I’ll have to rectify that.

With the exception of the omelette of the day, the food is not your typical cafe fare. The menu is technical and refined and although each item is interesting, they aren’t long lived. Let me clarify, I’ve tried most of the brunch menu and feel as though I’ve exhausted all the options and unless the menu changes, probably won’t return for the food on the weekend. Thankfully, it seems like the lunch menu will keep me going for a little while longer.

There is no such problem with the coffee. There are 2 options for espresso, the Dead Man blend and the 7 Seeds blend. The Dead Man blend is super smooth, slightly sweet with a bit of berry coming through and the 7 Seeds blend is a much darker, regular style espresso blend.

Most of the single origins are sourced from 7 Seeds but the also regularly have guest appearances from Market Lane and Coffee Supreme. These coffees are available only as pour-over, but I suspect with a little cajoling the barista would pull them through the Synesso. This makes for a great range and doesn’t disappoint. The stand out is the Panama Esmeralda Geisha, this was the best coffee I’ve had for weeks. It had a full palate and a ridiculously oily texture with flavours of honeycomb and dark chocolate.

In a city where every coffee fiend is talking about the Slayer and ordering single-origin siphons, the focus on pour over is refreshing. It is a far more subtle style of coffee, with a very gentle texture which helps to highlight the subtle flavours of the beans. I think pour-over and siphons are the perfect way for people new to non-milk coffee to cut their teeth.

This is the sourdough, smoked salmon,  avocado, mimolette and grapefruit salsa and a confit tomato. Sadly I didn’t get to taste this but I was assured it was amazing. The confit tomatoes are out of this world. It’s hard to describe but they have a beautifully fragrant flavour while still tasting like tomato.

The brioche french toast with grilled pineapple, bacon and sesame seed caramel (I added a confit tomato). This is possible the richest dish I have ever tasted. The caramel is dark, and quite acidic but works really well with the grilled pineapple and the bacon.

This is the deconstructed BLT. Pork belly and spinach puree on brioche with gazpacho. As with most dishes this is quite rich and very flavoursome. I’m not convinced pork belly belongs on a sandwich, I think it kind of hides the amazingness of the cut of meat and to some extent this deconstruction removed some of the great texture of a regular BLT. It is a really interesting take though and I would definitely recommend it.

Panzanella with pesto, smoked paprika sausages and poach eggs. This is an amazing dish, the bread has been lightly soaked in a light olive oil and slicing into the egg self sauces the salad. This is the star performer.

If it was possible, coffee in South Melbourne has just taken a step forward. East Brunswick’s Padre Coffee has opened a small store in the middle of the South Melbourne market. The fitout is spartan, polished concrete floor, a recycled timber counter and small Ikea-style stools around low tables are scattered around the store and into the market walkway. This cluttered, almost-messy feel meshes well with the hussle and bussel vibe of the market.

The tiny shop doesn’t leave you in doubt as to what the focus is. 5 Mazzer grinders, 2 Synesso’s (1 manual, 1 automatic) and a wall full of beans and coffee equipment for sale leave little room for any confusion. There is no pretense or wankery, just a shop serious about coffee.

The long black I had in the first week of opening was very dark and over-bitter, the follow-up latte was rich and creamy. Today’s Ethiopian Yirgacheffe latte was uncharacteristically dirty and had a lot of head but was very enjoyable. I suspect that some of the staff may be new and aren’t necessarily up to speed. It is early days and if reports of the Brunswick East Project are anything to go by the coffee will be consistently amazing very soon.

The world of coffee is moving in a new direction, the coffee geeks call it the Third Wave and here in Melbourne it is taking many forms. Proud Mary, Seven Seeds, Brother Baba Budan, Dead Man Espresso and St Ali all subscribe to the philosophy. This philosophy says that the coffee is king and it should be treated as such and that sourcing the beans is as important as roasting and brewing them. These “specialty coffee” (a shitty name as far as I’m concerned) shops each take an immense amount of pride in their coffee and staff at each of them will happily take time out of a busy service to explain the beauty of single-origin coffee or to help you understand the difference between brewing techniques.

But St Ali is taking it one step further. Their concept is called the Sensory Lab and they have partnered with David Jones to bring the 3rd Wave to the world. This new venture has taken over the Little Collins St entrance to the department store and is an amalgamation where perfume shop meets coffee shrine. As you walk into the store there is a large counter with the an impressive array of Hario siphon filters, pour over brewers and a much-touted Slayer espresso machine. The bright heat lamps of the siphons are an amazing drawcard. There is a constant stream of people stopping to look and learn about what exactly is going on.

It is pure genius. The theatre of the siphon stops the shoppers and the army of white lab coat wearing salespeople swoop to explain how it works or to find the perfect coffee blend for you with a simple 4 step process. This is specialty coffee for the masses and the shoppers are eating it up. On a Saturday morning there is a constant crowd of people around the counter and about 5 salespeople and 3 baristas run off their feet. These people seem to have a newfound desire for coffee. They are buying siphons, looking at the Rancilio espresso machines in the corner, leafing through the barista books and buying take-away beans.

This all overshadows the cafe that occupies the other half of the room. There are 2 large communal tables and a few little single seat booths along the wall. The fare is minimal, coffee and cake. The coffee is being made, not from the Slayer but from a giant La Marzocco machine and the baristas don’t have time to take a breather. There is a queue of people at the window ordering take-aways and an army of mothers with their prams trying to find seats at the communal table.

The atmosphere is positively buzzing but it isn’t all good. The space is too small and the number of people around is uncomfortable and quite noisy, not the best place for a quiet coffee, not that that’s the point. This place is like the gateway drug to a life of better caffeine.

I’m not itching to go back. The concept is great and it means that there is going to be more demand for good coffee but the pretty girls in the lab coats lack the passion of your favourite coffee shop and probably won’t remember your name. Luckily, we are spoilt for choice and I’m more than happy to sit wander down the road, grab the broadsheets and feed my addiction at the big spacious tables at the real St Ali.

Siphon Coffee is all the rage at the moment. Apparently it was developed in Japan and the coffee fiends at the “boutique” coffee houses around Melbourne are selling them like wildfire. It makes a great deal of sense to me. The coffee, served black, is more like the texture and consistency of tea rather than espresso. The brewing process is such that the individual flavours in the coffee are far more intense than in an espresso. Don’t get me wrong, if you want a caffeine hit, a short black certainly feels like it packs a harder punch, but when you want to enjoy a tempered coffee while you read or perhaps a gentler coffee to nurse your aching head, this stuff is the shit.

Here’s a video of the brewing process. Special thanks to St Ali.

All this talk of burgers got me thinking that I hadn’t actually eaten at Andrew’s Hamburgers in Albert Park. and if McDonald’s has done one thing right this week it is getting me to head down the road and give it a go. One thing is for certain, I’ll be back probably tomorrow, and the next day.

If you go expecting “gourmet” then you will be sorely mistaken. These burgers are greasy, meaty and hold absolutely no surprises, but that’s the beauty of them. It is the fish and chip shop’s burger of your childhood, the sort of burger that you can make so easily yourself, but you don’t. You can go and grab one down the road.

You won’t find panini, aioli, pesto, swiss, brie or relish. It’s a simple recipe, a lightly seasoned hamburger patty; a slice of cheese; a fresh, toasted bun; tomato; some onion; and a splash of barbecue sauce. Add some bacon, an egg, or “the works” and what you have is a perfect greasy burger that isn’t good for anything but the soul. Wrap that up in a piece of wax paper, serve it with some salty chips and put a $9 price tag on it and it’s the perfect hangover cure. The recipe hasn’t changed in 50 years and I wouldn’t expect it to change for another 50.

This is the sort of place that Grilld and McDonalds will never be. There is no fancy ingredients or marketing gimicks. Who knows where the mince was sourced and it certainly isn’t “lean beef,” but who cares? People will keep coming back for these simple, genuine burgers that they can trust.

Nestled in the leafy suburb of Paddington, at the start of Brisbane’s number one opshopping and vintage clothes street Sassafras has taken this unique Brisbane feel and run with it. A tiered outdoor eating area has the tables set amongst umbrellas, hedges and trees, inside the pastel painted cupboards and not quite antique tables and chairs make you feel right at home. Probably because your mum had the same kitchen table. Topping it all off is a random selection of strange paraphenalia hanging from the walls and ontop of the cupboards. Bookmaker bags, interesting photos and random teapots are a quirky addition that fit right in with the homely vibe.

The homeliness doesn’t stop there, a huge glass cabinet filled with seemingly home made salads, pies, cakes and tarts takes the place of a service counter, behind it a large hand written blackboard is the menu. The same staff that have been there for years cap it all off with their friendly demeanour and fast service.

The menu is broken into 2 parts, breakfast (until 2pm) and lunch (until 3pm). Breakfast is all the favourites, eggs, big breakfast, meusli and toast with a few interesting additions, three cheeses grilled on sourdough, buckwheat pancakes, chilli corn cakes and savoury mince on toast. The portions are generous and while the price isn’t cheap, it is reasonable.

Lunch has a distinctly mediterreanean feel, sandwiches filled with feta, peri peri chicken, grilled zuchini, eggplant, capers and olives all on sourdough or toasted panini are accompanied by an open steak sandwich, or a variety of pies or salads from the cabinet. With these slightly unorthodox flavours is where Sassafras really shines each dish is flavoursome and balanced again with good portions. The highlight is the peri-peri chicken BLT, an old favourite with a great, spicey touch.

For drinks, the milkshakes are amazing, taking this easily forgotten beverage and taking it to the next level. The coffee is neither here nor there, nothing to complain about but hardly standout, easily overshadowed by the quality of the food. If herbal tea is your thing, there is a large selection of T2 teas by the pot, or to take home.

Add this all together and what you end up with is one of Brisbane’s best cafes. Doing away with any of the yuppy pretentiousness that the inner suburbs of Brisbane often permeate and instead providing a familiar Brisbane cafe experience. Good food, good service, friendly faces and comfortable surrounds are easy to love, surely why this little cottage is packed all weekend, every weekend.

The only mistake this lovable cafe makes is not serving beer.

To call our dining experience at Spoon disappointing wouldn’t do it justice, it was much worse than that. Located in the trendy Brisbane Suburb of Paddington, Spoon is nestled amongst some of Brisbane’s best cafes. At first look, it appears to be a classy place, taking a clean conservative approach which contrasts its trendy, chic neighbours. It is a massive cafe with a large covered outdoor eating area with big tables, an open kitchen and a pretty standard menu. It is positioned perfectly on Latrobe Terrace and unlike most cafes in the area has access to parking and is close to other shops and restaurants. Yet its complete lack of acceptable service puts it in the “never again” basket.

Things didn’t start well with one of our lunch companions mentioning that there was no chance he would have booked a lunch party for 12 at the cafe, offering a few alternatives. At this stage, the damage was done.

On arrival it appeared that the booking had been completely disregarded. Speaking to the wait-staff they indicated that the table I was standing near would do and walked off.  This was a table of 8, not the booked 10. After a bit of rearranging of tables, and chairs we had a table with 1 menu.

Spoon has made the interesting decision not to provide table service instead only taking orders at the counter. Perhaps this works with a streamlined front counter where it takes very little effort to go and order a drink, but the single front counter attendant is preparing cakes and pies while taking orders. The line was regularly 5 and 6 deep, ordering a beer or coffee was a 10 minute mission. 10 minutes we could have spent drinking, and probably ordering more beers.

The meal service was similarly appalling. 45 minutes from the first order of a chicken burger and a lamb burger was delivered, 30 for a rice pudding and beers were anywhere from a 5-15 minute wait. All of this served up with a healthy dose of attitude from the staff scorning our very presence. Clearing plates was a nonstarter, with not a single glass or plate making it to the dishwasher, not to mention crockery on nearly every other table in the restaurant.

The food itself, was mediocre at best, a steak sandwich was half filled, poached eggs with runny whites, overcooked chicken burgers and cold chips as sides. Even the beer was a failure as they ran out of Pure Blonde, perhaps the only thing that wasn’t a complete disappointment was the coffee. It was neither good or bad, at this point it was a relief.

Thankfully the beer was cold and the company was good.